Tuesday, April 29, 2008

3 years ago...

Brian and I faced our biggest trial in our lives... Something we thought we would never face. The loss of a child. Never in my life did I think I would ever have to bury a child. And threw out our entire pregnancy with Broc, we never thought it would end the way it did. Before we get into that here are some pregnancy pictures from my pregnancy with Broc...

This is my FAVORITE picture of myself, and can you believe I'm pregnant! haha!
Photobucket


Our sweet little girl! She was 3 here...
Photobucket

I treasure every single one of these pictures you're about to see! I will give you the heads up now, some might be hard to look at for some of you but for me they give me great joy. And I'll NEVER be able to repay Melanie for the emotions and memories she captured!


Here is our sweet angel
Broc Christopher
April 30, 2005
He was perfect, 6lbs 2oz and 19.5 inches long
Photobucket

For those of you who don't know our story, I'll explain... I was 37 weeks pregnant having contractions when I woke up but I didn't feel Broc moving... By 6:30 at night Brian and I were at Arrowhead hospital hearing something we never thought we would hear! From what we know now, Broc died because of the cord. Darn cords, can't live without them but at the same time I don't really like them! :) So I had to go through being induced and giving birth, he arrived at 6:15am on April 30th. I had a wonderful support system with me between both our families. My Dad, Brian and Dr. McKernan gave me a wonderful blessing after we found out and without it I don't think I would have handled that night or the whole situation as well as I did and still do. I am so thankful for the gospel in my life for the knowledge I have to know that one day my family will all be together again.
So that brings us to the funeral... We never thought we'd be burying one of our children, planning a funeral (who puts the word "fun" in funeral anyway?!?) and going to visit a grave site with our children now!
Here is a picture of Broc's casket... It was SO small!
Photobucket


Notice just our family is in color... Love that!
We sang "God Be With You Til We Meet Again"
Photobucket

Brian and I also spoke at the funeral, I read a poem and we thanked everyone there for their support.
I am so thankful for my husband and the support he gave me throughout all of this! It was harder on me because I had the connection with Broc more than anyone. Since he didn't live no one else got to really connect with him. My husband took the entire week off work and was just great!! I love him so much and can't imagine going through life with anyone else!
Photobucket

Maci was three, so we weren't sure how much she really understood. But surprisingly she understood a lot! She will still bring Broc up out of the blue with simple comments like "Mom, I miss Broc." and "I can't wait until we can see Broc again" and she always tells everyone that she has 2 brothers.
Thank heavens for her! She caused us to be parents and not just cry and cry! I remember when we were in the hospital and everyone had gotten there and was giving us hugs and we were all crying, she walked in and instantly we were parents explaining to our 3 year old what was going on and what had happened. It helped so much to have her!!
We were explaining to her that Broc was in there and asking if she wanted to say goodbye. She kept asking "Can I see him?" "Can I hold him?" She didn't understand that she couldn't see her brother. I'll never forget that!
Photobucket

We let balloons go after the funeral and we still let balloons go now...
Photobucket

Here is Maci watching her balloons go, to this day she'll let a balloon go and yell "There you go Broc!" It's so cute!
Photobucket

Dr. McKernan! What a wonderful man! When he told us that Broc was gone instead of being a "doctor" and telling how I'd have to be induced, etc. The first thing he said to me was "You need a blessing" and then he stood in on the blessing. He also told us about his daughter he lost 24 years before that, she died after 2 days from congestive heart failure. And Broc and his daughter are buried at the same cemetery. He also came to the funeral and said the closing prayer. He is a wonderful man and was such a support for me during all this, that we named Kernan after him!
Photobucket

And finally here is a picture of our family a month after Broc died that once again Melanie did for us, with our sweet angel looking over us in the background. This hangs as a 24x36 inch picture above our bed.
Photobucket

Alright sorry for the LONG post! But this is my journal and although I have this written down in my journal and also Broc's scrapbooks I can never hear it enough! And don't worry, I love to talk about him and share my entire story (this is kinda the quick version) So if you want to hear the whole thing just ask, also if you'd like to see Broc's scrapbooks with all the pictures come on over! Again, thanks to everyone for your support through our hard time! We couldn't have done it without you!
And Melanie, I know I tell you this all the time but I will NEVER be able to thank you enough! I cherish each and every picture you took and will treasure them for the rest of my life! Thank You!!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Maci's Birthday and the Kiddos Party!

Maci had a GREAT birthday! It went on for a few days!

I took in cupcakes to school on Tuesday, they were "High School Musical/Hannah Montana" cupcakes!

Photobucket

It was also "Twin Day" at school on Tuesday so Maci and Tatum dressed to be twins! Fun!!

Photobucket

Today was their party... Last year we combined both their parties and it was pure craziness! So this year Maci had a "party" and Kernan just got cupcakes and presents after Maci's friends went home! It was much better that way!!

Here are Maci and her friends that made it!
Top:Chase and Noah
Bottom:Chancelyn, Maci and Samantha
Photobucket


My parents own this water slide, which was a BIG hit! And wonderful because I didn't have to entertain them! They entertained themselves!
Here is Maci, I teach her to pose for the camera well, huh?!?
Photobucket

Here is Chase "in action"
Photobucket

Here is Noah... the only boy!! He gave Maci the cutest hand made card and in the inside it said "Maci, I like you!" He is so cute! They are lucky enough to be in the same class at both school and church!!
Photobucket

Here are the little guys playing in the elmo sprinkler and with their water guns!
Kernan has that look like "I'm gonna get you Kolsen!!"
Photobucket

Opening presents! She got so many good things this year from everyone!!
Photobucket

Make a wish!!
Photobucket

Kolsen enjoying an Elmo cupcake... Mmmm... Looks good!
Photobucket

Here are a few of Maci's favorite presents she got this year, I asked her tonight and these were a FEW of ones she said!
Her new Mary-Jane Crocs
Photobucket

Her new CTR ring.. This is the thrid one so far! Hopefully this one lasts longer then the last one! :)
Photobucket

Her new laptop like Mommy! Now my kids both look like me with their laptops!
Photobucket

Her High School Musical pj's...
Thanks Natalie, Jason, Kolsen and Callie!
Photobucket

And finally her new quilt Aunt Christtina made her! She LOVES this!
Photobucket

You can't tell but I took this tonight after she feel asleep, she really is under there!!
Thanks Chris! She loves it!
Photobucket

So I'm sure you can see she had a good birthday! Thank you everyone for her cards, presents and comments!! It's still hard to believe she is 6 already!

Hope you all had a good weekend!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Happy Birthday Maci!!

I know, my kids are close!! Maci and Kernan are 6 days apart and then we have Broc next Wednesday!! What can I say... I like diamonds! (April's Birthstone);) So I went through pictures and found a picture of her on her birthday for the past 6 years! Thank heavens for digital cameras! I hardly took any pictures of Maci before she was 3! It's actually pretty sad!! Considering all the pictures I take now!! haha!

So here is Maci freshly out wanting back in!
April 23, 2002
Photobucket

And here she is at 1! Awww...

Photobucket

Here she is at her 2nd birthday, it's amazing how she looks pretty much the same now just bigger! Which has her Dad and I very worried!

Photobucket

Here she is on her third birthday at the Wildlife World Zoo... Thank heavens for Christtina coming with us to take pictures that day! All I remember about it was how pregnant with Broc I was!!
She loves the zoo!
Photobucket


Here she is on her 4th birthday! Remember that picture I took of her at the zoo last Wednesday?? Well this is the one from her 4th birthday! Brian and I took her for some one on one time with us while Christtina stayed home with our 6 day old baby!
Photobucket

Here she is last year on her birthday!
Going to spend her Old Navy "credit card" Nonna and Poppy got her!

Photobucket

And here she is this morning!

Photobucket



Photobucket

She gets to stay home from school today and go shopping! She is very excited! I took cupcakes into her class yesterday for her birthday! I can't believe she is 6! Time goes by so fast! She is such a joy to have in our home! She can always make you laugh and is so caring!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Kernan's Birthday!

So I think Kernan had a good day last Thursday! I wasn't sure about people calling him and getting sung too by sister and I all the time... But he did like all the Elmo stuff around the house!!

Here he is eating doughnuts for breakfast, with his singing Elmo balloon!!
I'm so glad I got him eating with "blanket"... Every morning he eats with his blanket's tag in his hand!! He LOVES his blanket!
Photobucket


Then we took Sissy to school and went in with her! So he could play on the playground like all the big kids! He loves sister's playground!
Photobucket

Especially the slide!
Photobucket

While sister was in school we went shopping, we went to Target where Mom bought him an Elmo laptop! He loves it and loves to sit on the couch with me while I'm on mine!
He carried it all through the mall with him where I bought him is own pair of DC shoes just like Uncle Kolby and Stockton!

Later that night we had pizza (his favorite dinner) and cake and he got to open all his presents from us..
Photobucket

His Elmo party hat...

Photobucket


Kernan's bestest friends...
Kolsen
Photobucket


and Bode!
Photobucket


Everyone is singing that song to me again!! :)
Photobucket


BLOW!!
Photobucket


Kernan is just like his Daddy and Poppy... LOVES chocolate!
Photobucket


What a mess!!
Photobucket


Then it was present time! He was totally into opening all his presents!!
Photobucket


He had a great day! I still can't believe he is two!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Happy Birthday to my Baby!

I can't believe TWO years ago I was having Kernan!! Time is a funny thing, it seems like just yesterday but it also seems like he's been a part of us forever!! I guess in the "big picture" of things he has!!

Here he is freshly born! Probably wanting back in!

I love his big eyes!!
Photobucket

And here he is last year on is birthday!

Photobucket

And today! Posing so well for the camera!!

Photobucket



Photobucket


Photobucket

I am so thankful for this little boy!! He was truly an answer to our prayers!! He is pure joy in our lives and I know we wouldn't be the same without him! He is so fun, sensitive, and a GREAT snuggler! I don't want him to get any bigger but I know he will and he'll probably just get even funner!!

We love you Kernan!!

Look below for pictures from our trip to the zoo yesterday, and also look for pictures from Kernan's day today, in the next couple of days!! Have a great one!!