Brian and I faced our biggest trial in our lives... Something we thought we would never face. The loss of a child. Never in my life did I think I would ever have to bury a child. And threw out our entire pregnancy with Broc, we never thought it would end the way it did. Before we get into that here are some pregnancy pictures from my pregnancy with Broc...
This is my FAVORITE picture of myself, and can you believe I'm pregnant! haha!
Our sweet little girl! She was 3 here...
I treasure every single one of these pictures you're about to see! I will give you the heads up now, some might be hard to look at for some of you but for me they give me great joy. And I'll NEVER be able to repay Melanie for the emotions and memories she captured!
Here is our sweet angel
Broc Christopher
April 30, 2005
He was perfect, 6lbs 2oz and 19.5 inches long
For those of you who don't know our story, I'll explain... I was 37 weeks pregnant having contractions when I woke up but I didn't feel Broc moving... By 6:30 at night Brian and I were at Arrowhead hospital hearing something we never thought we would hear! From what we know now, Broc died because of the cord. Darn cords, can't live without them but at the same time I don't really like them! :) So I had to go through being induced and giving birth, he arrived at 6:15am on April 30th. I had a wonderful support system with me between both our families. My Dad, Brian and Dr. McKernan gave me a wonderful blessing after we found out and without it I don't think I would have handled that night or the whole situation as well as I did and still do. I am so thankful for the gospel in my life for the knowledge I have to know that one day my family will all be together again.
So that brings us to the funeral... We never thought we'd be burying one of our children, planning a funeral (who puts the word "fun" in funeral anyway?!?) and going to visit a grave site with our children now!
Here is a picture of Broc's casket... It was SO small!
Notice just our family is in color... Love that!
We sang "God Be With You Til We Meet Again"
Brian and I also spoke at the funeral, I read a poem and we thanked everyone there for their support.
I am so thankful for my husband and the support he gave me throughout all of this! It was harder on me because I had the connection with Broc more than anyone. Since he didn't live no one else got to really connect with him. My husband took the entire week off work and was just great!! I love him so much and can't imagine going through life with anyone else!
Maci was three, so we weren't sure how much she really understood. But surprisingly she understood a lot! She will still bring Broc up out of the blue with simple comments like "Mom, I miss Broc." and "I can't wait until we can see Broc again" and she always tells everyone that she has 2 brothers.
Thank heavens for her! She caused us to be parents and not just cry and cry! I remember when we were in the hospital and everyone had gotten there and was giving us hugs and we were all crying, she walked in and instantly we were parents explaining to our 3 year old what was going on and what had happened. It helped so much to have her!!
We were explaining to her that Broc was in there and asking if she wanted to say goodbye. She kept asking "Can I see him?" "Can I hold him?" She didn't understand that she couldn't see her brother. I'll never forget that!
We let balloons go after the funeral and we still let balloons go now...
Here is Maci watching her balloons go, to this day she'll let a balloon go and yell "There you go Broc!" It's so cute!
Dr. McKernan! What a wonderful man! When he told us that Broc was gone instead of being a "doctor" and telling how I'd have to be induced, etc. The first thing he said to me was "You need a blessing" and then he stood in on the blessing. He also told us about his daughter he lost 24 years before that, she died after 2 days from congestive heart failure. And Broc and his daughter are buried at the same cemetery. He also came to the funeral and said the closing prayer. He is a wonderful man and was such a support for me during all this, that we named Kernan after him!
And finally here is a picture of our family a month after Broc died that once again Melanie did for us, with our sweet angel looking over us in the background. This hangs as a 24x36 inch picture above our bed.
Alright sorry for the LONG post! But this is my journal and although I have this written down in my journal and also Broc's scrapbooks I can never hear it enough! And don't worry, I love to talk about him and share my entire story (this is kinda the quick version) So if you want to hear the whole thing just ask, also if you'd like to see Broc's scrapbooks with all the pictures come on over! Again, thanks to everyone for your support through our hard time! We couldn't have done it without you!
And Melanie, I know I tell you this all the time but I will NEVER be able to thank you enough! I cherish each and every picture you took and will treasure them for the rest of my life! Thank You!!
This is my FAVORITE picture of myself, and can you believe I'm pregnant! haha!
Our sweet little girl! She was 3 here...
I treasure every single one of these pictures you're about to see! I will give you the heads up now, some might be hard to look at for some of you but for me they give me great joy. And I'll NEVER be able to repay Melanie for the emotions and memories she captured!
Here is our sweet angel
Broc Christopher
April 30, 2005
He was perfect, 6lbs 2oz and 19.5 inches long
For those of you who don't know our story, I'll explain... I was 37 weeks pregnant having contractions when I woke up but I didn't feel Broc moving... By 6:30 at night Brian and I were at Arrowhead hospital hearing something we never thought we would hear! From what we know now, Broc died because of the cord. Darn cords, can't live without them but at the same time I don't really like them! :) So I had to go through being induced and giving birth, he arrived at 6:15am on April 30th. I had a wonderful support system with me between both our families. My Dad, Brian and Dr. McKernan gave me a wonderful blessing after we found out and without it I don't think I would have handled that night or the whole situation as well as I did and still do. I am so thankful for the gospel in my life for the knowledge I have to know that one day my family will all be together again.
So that brings us to the funeral... We never thought we'd be burying one of our children, planning a funeral (who puts the word "fun" in funeral anyway?!?) and going to visit a grave site with our children now!
Here is a picture of Broc's casket... It was SO small!
Notice just our family is in color... Love that!
We sang "God Be With You Til We Meet Again"
Brian and I also spoke at the funeral, I read a poem and we thanked everyone there for their support.
I am so thankful for my husband and the support he gave me throughout all of this! It was harder on me because I had the connection with Broc more than anyone. Since he didn't live no one else got to really connect with him. My husband took the entire week off work and was just great!! I love him so much and can't imagine going through life with anyone else!
Maci was three, so we weren't sure how much she really understood. But surprisingly she understood a lot! She will still bring Broc up out of the blue with simple comments like "Mom, I miss Broc." and "I can't wait until we can see Broc again" and she always tells everyone that she has 2 brothers.
Thank heavens for her! She caused us to be parents and not just cry and cry! I remember when we were in the hospital and everyone had gotten there and was giving us hugs and we were all crying, she walked in and instantly we were parents explaining to our 3 year old what was going on and what had happened. It helped so much to have her!!
We were explaining to her that Broc was in there and asking if she wanted to say goodbye. She kept asking "Can I see him?" "Can I hold him?" She didn't understand that she couldn't see her brother. I'll never forget that!
We let balloons go after the funeral and we still let balloons go now...
Here is Maci watching her balloons go, to this day she'll let a balloon go and yell "There you go Broc!" It's so cute!
Dr. McKernan! What a wonderful man! When he told us that Broc was gone instead of being a "doctor" and telling how I'd have to be induced, etc. The first thing he said to me was "You need a blessing" and then he stood in on the blessing. He also told us about his daughter he lost 24 years before that, she died after 2 days from congestive heart failure. And Broc and his daughter are buried at the same cemetery. He also came to the funeral and said the closing prayer. He is a wonderful man and was such a support for me during all this, that we named Kernan after him!
And finally here is a picture of our family a month after Broc died that once again Melanie did for us, with our sweet angel looking over us in the background. This hangs as a 24x36 inch picture above our bed.
Alright sorry for the LONG post! But this is my journal and although I have this written down in my journal and also Broc's scrapbooks I can never hear it enough! And don't worry, I love to talk about him and share my entire story (this is kinda the quick version) So if you want to hear the whole thing just ask, also if you'd like to see Broc's scrapbooks with all the pictures come on over! Again, thanks to everyone for your support through our hard time! We couldn't have done it without you!
And Melanie, I know I tell you this all the time but I will NEVER be able to thank you enough! I cherish each and every picture you took and will treasure them for the rest of my life! Thank You!!
13 comments:
Your family is so strong for facing a trial like that. The gospel is an amazing thing when we know that we will be with our loved ones again!
What an amazing post. I think about you often when I am working and see someone go through this same thing. You guys are so strong. You are so right about having the gospel and what a difference it makes in our lives. I love all of the pictures. And you guys are the perfect example of what I meant in my last post. "Life isn't what you want it to be. it is what you make it become" and you have made so much good come from your trial. You inspire me, and your family is in my thoughts and prayers today.
Girl you had me in tears. I really admire your strength it is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story!
This still brings me to tears. I am so thankful for the future and whatever it may hold. For the opportunity we all may have to see him. You both were so strong through everything, I am so proud of you for
your example and strength. I love you both so much.
Jessica,
I thought about you all day today. I am always amazed at your strength and courage. I think this happened to you, in part, because the Lord knew that you would share your feelings with the world and that your testimony and attitude would be contagious. I love you Jessica.
Jessica I cried reading this all the way through. I could never imagine what you have been through. Im so glad you had friends and family with you to support you.
Jessica you are just amazing. You are amazing. Heavenly Father knew you could handle this. I can't wait until you get to be with Broc again. What a valiant spirit he must have been. You give me the strength to push on everyday. I love you girl... I am so glad you can talk about all this so openly.. I think people can only learn from you. You are just an incredible woman.
ohhh those pictures always make me cry! I love your balloon tradition.
These pictures are beautiful. I think you went through everyone's worst fear. I honestly can't even imagine.
Hi Jessica & family!
So good to hear from you guys. We love "blog" world and how it keeps us in contact with everyone. Your family looks so good. Thanks for the great reminder of the blessing of eternal families! We love you guys! Love, Jeff & Julie & Boys
Girl. You suck. Now I am sitting here bawling at 420am in the morning. Feeding my little man and NOT EVEN being able to imagine what you went thru. I will echo what other's have said... I admire your strength and I love this gospel which gives us peace in the knowledge we have. Love you! Thanks for sharing your story. It made me extra grateful for the trials I actually DO have.
Jess, I want you to know how much I love you and your family. You are so strong and I look up to you so much for what you have gone through and how you handled everything. No matter how many times I see those pictures it brings me to tears every time. Jason is looking at me like I am a wierdo because I am bawling!!! I am so glad that we were able to be at his funeral and hear the sweet words and feel the sweet spirit that was there. Broc will always be remembered and I can't wait to meet him someday!
Jessica ... I could never imagine having to go through that. It still brings me to tears. Your familes strength is such an examplet to me.
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